Naked but not ashamed
And the lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon adam, & he slept: and he took one of his ribs,& closed up the flash instead there of : & the rib, which the lord God had taken from man, made he a woman,& brought her unto the man. And adam said, this is now bone of my bones, & flash of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father & mother, & shall cleave unto his wife: & they shall be one flash. And they were both necked, the man & his wife, & were not ashamed’’. Gen 2:21-25.The scripture describes the relationship that existed between adam& eve at the beginning. God met a need of loneliness in a man by providing a woman from one of his ribs & man ‘instantly’ recognized her as ‘completing’ him. so much was his delight in eve that the bible recorded that on account of this man is ready to leave the comfort of the familiar (father & mother) & cleave to his wife, & not only that even though they are both “naked” (nude & without covering), there was no shame or embarrassment between adam& eve. The only other presence in their union was God. God was their covering. A marriage made in heaven, a desire in most women’s heart.
What does the word ‘naked’ evoke in your mine or marriage? Some synonyms for it will include: open, uncovered, exposed, trusting, intimacy, no pretense, no airs, no posing, no secrets, & no lies. Naked & not ashamed, not just because nakedness is certified under a marriage license, but because beyond physical intimacy, a couple lays all bare about their lives & even when there may be some ugly or unacceptable situations, they remain open, honest & expecting enough with each other that the situation is not an issue. This requires a lot of maturity.
The nakedness of a couple in the first three to five years of their marriage may reveal a man with a six pack figure & a woman with the figure 8. This is desirable & the picture is acceptable to each party. over the time however the scale falls off . The six pack figure of the man is replaced by a so me flabs, while that of the woman is replaced by several layers of flabs possibly after child birth. The nakedness is no longer appealing. In the same way, nakedness begins to come with shame in a marriage when there is no longer openness, when there is deceit or both have “fallen short” of each other’s expectation.
Bro. Kelechi lost his job five month ago. He did not he did not have the guts to tell sister Ebele his wife because relationship has been strained between them for over a year. She is eight month Pregnant and the only one funding their joint account that he manages. She is not aware of their Poor financial position as all alerts go to Kelechi. She is also not aware that he had been seeing a mutual acquaintance since Ebele got Pregnant and had become ‘’impossible’’ to live with. Her EDD is around the corner they don’t have enough for the expenses ahead. They are naked and ashamed as Gods cover has been thrown off their family.
Eddie and eno moved in with his mother when he still could not find a job after he lost his job. They could no longer afford rent and even when she insisted on a smaller Place with her teacher’s salary, he declared he will not live off a woman. Eddie insists that the house is his anyway or at least will be when his mother dies. Now however, the mother calls the shots. Eno and her two children are guests. They are all scolded like toddlers and her mother in law openly reports her to her friends that she was not well brought and has no manners. Eddie is having the time of his life an obvious to the Pain she is in. they are naked and living in a life of shame. ‘’cleaving’’ cannot occur as Eddie has not left home and worse still the hedge around them has been penetrated and so the family is exposed. Eno is so scared and does not know how to approach the problem.
There is shame in a marriage when there are fears, concerns, betrayal, disappointment, anger, frustration, mutual lack of respect, challenges that you cannot as man and wife bring yourselves to discuss or you fight and argue when you try to and so it is swept under the carpet. What is your situation-Naked and not ashamed or naked but living in shame? Are you able to discuss your situation openly? The shame in your nakedness may not be your finances. Maybe it is double standards or the drink Problem or womanizing ways of your husband. Are you able to discuss your situation openly? Are you a victim of domestic violence or the strange woman moved in and you are a ‘’tenant’’ in your home? Maybe there is just a gang u against you? Perhaps you are even unmarried-single, separated, divorced etc. then you should be ‘’naked’’ only before God and avoid acts of shame until your change comes. The Price of shame in nakedness can be high-ask Bathsheba! 2 Sam:11
Tips for restoration
· Prayer: find the strength to hold on to God
· Awareness: recognize both are at fault
· Confession: confess do not ass blame
· Forgiveness: forgive each other and yourself
· Restitution: intentionally vow to change
· Recommitment: decide to risk trusting again
· Goals: set specific goals
· Time: it takes time, work and determination
How would you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty. Even if she looks like a dump truck. –Ricky, age 10